Recently, I saw an old friend for the first time in many years. I don’t know when our next visit will be, so before we parted, I made sure to give him a good, long hug.
Have you been hugged lately? A quick touch and go? Most hugs are like that. A fast embrace, an awkward clinch, almost as if we were embarrassed to touch one another.
According to The Happiness Project author, Gretchen Rubin, to be effective, hugs must last at least six seconds. Let me ask the question again. Have you been hugged lately…for at least six seconds?
I’d bet the answer is “No,” but research is finding that hugs that last six seconds or longer stimulate serotonin and oxytocin production. Those are the feel-good chemicals, folks.
Writer THINK-IST on Medium states that “an article from the UK’s Daily Mail suggests regular embraces can lower the risk of heart disease, combat stress and fatigue, boost the immune system, lower blood pressure, fight infection and ease depression.”
The longer the hug, the higher the flow of oxytocin which lowers cortisol levels and boosts our sense of well-being and belonging, too.
Articles posted in Reader’s Digest and Scientific American claim resistance to the common cold can be increased by hugging.
It’s easier for me in Chile because my friends and I greet with a hug and a kiss on the right cheek. The Chilean culture in general is more de piel, touchy-feely, than people in the US. Maybe that’s one source of my feeling content in Chile?
I once dated a guy who had a theory that people are born with a quota of laughs. He claimed that most of us never come near to using up all of them.
I wonder if the same thing is true for hugs. Family therapist Virginia Satir’s theory is that “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”
Many of us don’t get hugged at all. Others only receive that brief grasp that I talked about earlier. If I was born with a quota, I’m woefully under it. I’m still working my way up to survival level, and I suspect that I’m not alone.
~~Sally Rose
Author of Amazon Nº. 1 Best Seller Penny Possible
Author of A Million Sticky Kisses & Love Me Tender
Contributing author to Once Upon An Expat
iamsallyrose.com
Do hugs from dogs count?!?!?!
I think they do. Not sure if they count as half-hugs or double-hugs.
I come from a long line of huggers and I am available to dole them out 24/7 🙂 I live in the southern US, so hugging is pretty common here, even among very casual acquaintances. I guess I need to start timing my hugs – not sure if I make it to the six second mark.
Six seconds can feel like a long time, even if it’s someone that you’re comfortable with. I think we’re so used to doing the quick clinch that it can feel weird to hug longer.
Thanks for your comments, Lissa.
A great post. I too am woefully behind in my hug quota. I also feel, that the elderly don’t get nearly as many hugs as they should. My mom for instance, has lost several inches over the last few years, and her short stature, makes it difficult to hug her. This I believe is a sad state for many elderly. I’m now determined to hug more and longer. Thanks for your post.
Sometimes, when I hug an older person or a tiny person, I feel like they’re too fragile to hug very hard or long. My grandmother and an older cousin, who was like a mother to me, were both about 4′ 10″.
I think all of us could probably use more six-second hugs. Thanks for your comments.